Dr. Koopa Heisenstien
by Clovis15
Summary: Koopa enlists the help of a scientist in his plans to take over the Mushroom Kingdom. Originally written back in '97 for the now defunct Cartoons section of smbhq.com website.


(Fade into shot of King koopa pacing back and forth in his castle's entrance room. King Koopa looks at his watch!)  
  
KING KOOPA: WHERE IS HE!  
  
(Koopa's scream causes the castle to shake. Hip and Hop run into the room)  
  
HIP: Ah c'mon dad he's...  
  
HOP: only 5 minutes late, so...  
  
HIP: give him a chance.  
  
(Koopa gives Hip and Hop a very mean stare)  
  
KING KOOPA: Are you questioning my authority???  
  
(Hip and hop salute King Koopa)  
  
HIP: Sir...  
  
HOP: No...  
  
HIP: Sir...  
  
(There's a knock on the door, King Koopa over and slams opens the door. Standing in the doorway is a Koopa with a white hair, and a white mustache, he looks up to King Koopa)  
  
KOOPA: (WITH A GERMAN ACCENT) Hello King Koopa, as you can see, I'm on time.  
  
KING KOOPA: ON TIME!? I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT YOU'RE 7 MINUTES LATE!  
  
(The koopa looks at his watch)  
  
KOOPA: No, I'm definitely on time...  
  
KING KOOPA: (Interrupting the koopa) NO! YOU'RE 7 MINUTES LATE, your watch must be SLOW!  
  
(The Koopa turns around and starts to walk out the door)  
  
KOOPA: If you're going to be rude, I won't help you...  
  
(King Koopa gets down on his hands and knees and begs)  
  
KING KOOPA: (In a semi sarcastic tone) No, wait, please Dr. Heisenstien, don't go, I really need your help.  
  
HEISENSTIEN: Well, if you promise to be nice, then I guess I'll stay.  
  
KING KOOPA: I've prepared a lab for you, follow me this way.  
  
(King Koopa and Heisenstien walk down a hallway)  
  
HEISENSTIEN: I hope it meets my specifications.  
  
(King Koopa eyes grow wide)  
  
KING KOOPA: Bully, GET IN HERE!  
  
(Bully run into the hallway, almost tripping on his tail, bully salutes King Koopa)  
  
BULLY: WHAT IS IT???  
  
KING KOOPA: IS Heisenstien's LAB READY???  
  
BULLY: SIR, YES, SIR!  
  
KING KOOPA: GOOD!!!  
  
(Bully runs back to whatever he was doing, King Koopa and Heisentien continue to walk down the hall. At the end of the hall they stop walking. King Koopa opens a door marked laboratory. Heisentstien looks inside)  
  
HEISENSTIEN: Is this it?  
  
KING KOOPA: yes...  
  
HEISENSTIEN: Hoo boy...  
  
(fade to scene of the castle, Mario is at the table putting a bit of pasta into his mouth)  
  
TOAD: MARIO! (shouts toad as he runs into the room) I HAVE BAD NEWS.  
  
(Mario is startled and drops his fork)  
  
MARIO: Toad, look at what you made me do...  
  
TOAD: No time to complain about the pasta Mario, I heard that King Koopa has hired Dr. Heisenstien to build a weapon for him.  
  
MARIO: (Laughing) Why worry, I heard that Heisenstien is a fake and...  
  
(Luigi runs in out of breath)  
  
MARIO: Luigi, what's wrong? You look like you ran the 100 meter MUSHROOM KINGDOM DASH.  
  
(Luigi regains his composure)  
  
LUIGI: FAT! Everybody FAT! FAAAAAAT!!!! Dr. Heisentstien... FAT GUN... everybody... coming this way...  
  
(Mario gives Luigi a puzzled look)  
  
MARIO: Come again?  
  
LUIGI: Dr. Heisenstien is coming this way with his FAT GUN, to make us so fat that we can't move, after that, King Koopa's gonna come and take over the castle again.  
  
(They hear a thud. A guard who is growing fatter and fatter crawls into the room)  
  
FAT GUARD: It's Heisenstien, he here.  
  
(Heisenstien steps into the room holding a ray gun)  
  
HEISENSTIEN: Prepare to gain weight plumber!  
  
(Heisenstien pulls the trigger releasing a ray. Mario jumps over it.)  
  
MARIO: No thanks, the Princess says I already too heavy.  
  
(The princess walks out of a door)  
  
PRINCESS: What's all the noise about  
  
(The ray hits the princess, she starts to get getting fatter, and fatter right away.)  
  
PRINCESS: MARIO! WHAT'S THE MEANING OF THIS!  
  
HEISENSTIEN: DRATS! MISSED!  
  
(Heisenstien fires again, Mario jumps over it, and lands on the fat gun, shattering it)  
  
HEISENSTIEN: YOU FOOL; IT TOOK ME TWO WHOLE DAYS TO BUILD THAT!  
  
MARIO: Evil never pays and... (Mario looks at the princess) what happened to you?  
  
(Heisenstien begins to run out of the room)  
  
HEISENSTIEN: Ha! Maybe I did accomplish something. Now that you've broken my FAT GUN, the only way to reverse the process is to obtain the other gun at King Koopa's castle. I think he'll be willing to trade it for the kingdom.  
  
MARIO: We'll never deal with likes of you.  
  
HEISENSTIEN: Have it your way. (Heisenstien run out of the castle)  
  
PRINCESS: WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE WON'T DEAL WITH HIM!  
  
MARIO: CAUSE ME AND LUIGI ARE GOING TO GO OVER TO KOOPA CASTLE AND BORROW THE OTHER GUN.  
  
LUIGI: We are!?!  
  
MARIO: Yes, we are.  
  
LUIGI: MARIO, I gotta bad feeling about this.  
  
MARIO: Yeah, but look at the princess, do you really think she needs to be as fat as me.  
  
(Luigi look to the princess who is all swelled up)  
  
LUIGI: Let's go  
  
(Mario and Luigi run outside of the castle)  
  
LUIGI: Look at all of those mushroom people, they're so fat, they're as big as the castle.  
  
MARIO: Hm, we've got hurry, I know of a short cut to King Koopa's castle.  
  
(Fade top a shot of King Koopa's castle, then fade to an interior shot where King Koopa is lecturing his kids.)  
  
KING KOOPA: Listen up, Mario is going to be coming for this.  
  
(King Koopa points to the other gun)  
  
KING KOOPA: SO it's your job to protect it.  
  
(Cheatsy raises his hand)  
  
KING KOOPA: Yes Cheatsy.  
  
CHEATSY: What happens to us if we fail to protect it?  
  
KING KOOPA: THEN YOU'RE ALL PUNISHED FOR LIFE!  
  
(King Koopa leaves the room)  
  
HIP: This stinks...  
  
HOP: ...why do we have to...  
  
HIP: ...Guard this...  
  
HOP: ... it was Heisenstien who messed up.  
  
(Meanwhile Mario and Luigi and hiding in the rooms Closet)  
  
MARIO: (In a low whisper) Do you have the gas masks?  
  
LUIGI: (Also in a low whisper) Yeah, do you have the sleeping gas BOB-OMB?  
  
(Mario pulls out a bomb)  
  
MARIO: GOT IT RIGHT HERE.  
  
(Mario kicks down the door.)  
  
HIP: It's Mario...  
  
HOP: get him!  
  
(Mario and Luigi put the gas masks on. Mario throws the BOB-OMB)  
  
ALL THE KOOPA KIDS: OH NO! IT A GAS BOB-OMB  
  
(The Bomb goes off, and all the koopa kids go to sleep. Mario grabs the gun. Mario and Luigi jumps out the window and run back to the kingdom.)  
  
LUIGI: Mario, we can stop running, we far enough away."  
  
MARIO: Okay, let's rest a sec.  
  
(All of a sudden the bros. can hear King Koopa scream.)  
  
KING KOOPA: YOU LET THEM WHAT!!!!!!!!!  
  
LUIGI: Breaks over.  
  
(The bros. quickly run the rest of the way back to the castle.)  
  
(Fade to a scene outside the castle. Streamers are going off everywhere. There is a banner that says "WE LOVE MARIO")  
  
PRINCESS: As you all know, we're here to thank Mario and Luigi for saving us again.  
  
MUSHROOM PEOPLE: MARIO! MARIO! MARIO!  
  
LUIGI: Why is it that everybody shouts Mario and not Luigi!?  
  
(Fade to scene in King Koopa's throne room)  
  
KING KOOPA: Heisenstien! DO YOU KNOW THE PENALTY!  
  
HEISENSTIEN: PLEASE! NOT THAT!  
  
KING KOOPA: Guards, take him to the slave pit. 


End file.
